How to break up with someone:
Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now
Daniel Handler, AKA Lemony Snicket, gives love advice on twitter. (Part 1)
The last one though, hahaha.
"The answer lies in the word ‘boys’"
"Darling, I want your scrotum."
“The LEAST you could do was find a decent picture … “
HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THAT?!?!?!?!?